Singlish vs English

• Use Singlish. It’s so much cheaper.
  

• Why do we insist on using the Queen’s English?
  

• Singlish is so much more economical and effective?
  

• Compare and see!
  

When going shopping...
Britains : I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
S’poreans: No Stock!

When returning a call...
Britains : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page me a few moments ago?
S’poreans: Hello, who page?

When someone is in the way...
Britains : Excuse me, I’d like to get by. Would you please make way?
S’poreans: Lai, siam! Or Siam, hor! Or Skius!

When someone offers to pay...
Britains : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
S’poreans: no need lah

When asking for permission...
Britains : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
S’poreans: (while pointing at door) Can pass or Not?

When asking to be excused...
Britains : If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
S’poreans: Go toilet. Buay tahan ahh.....

When doubting someone...
Britains : I don’t recall you giving me the money.
S’poreans: Got meh?

When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
Britains : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you’re coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
S’poreans: Talk cock lah you!

When asking someone to lower their voice...
Britains : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I’m trying to concentrate over here.
S’poreans: Eh, Tiam leh!

When asking someone if he/she knows you...
Britains : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
S’poreans: See what see?! BUAY SONG AH

by: John Chia